Integral Psychology
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    • Training in Bali 'Therapy for Therapists' 27 April-2 May and 5-12 September 2019
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A secret kept too well...

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This page is offered to women and young girls who are ready to take a nurturing and enriching approach into the subject of menarche, menstruation and menopause.  

My wife Janoel has been doing some wonderful work with mothers and daughters and has been passing me all the up to date literature on women's business.  So this page expresses where we're at with our family journey,  and is also a page for men to understand women more fully.  'The moon inside you' is a great place to start.  Click on the photo link and get yourself a copy. 

The Wild Genie - Alexandra Pope
The Pill: are you sure it's for you - Jane Bennett
I have included two PDF book links to the right here.  Jane Bennett and Alexandra Pope are the 2 Australians interviewed in the above documentary.  Here's a little bit of reading to get you started, but we really recommend you buy these two books.  The main themes are for women to come into their power.  Women are biologically linked to the moon, to nature, and it is a man's job to know these cycles via the woman. 
CURRENT MOON
lunar phase
Many men are cut off from feelings and it takes a woman to help them reconnect with their own bodies, the earth and its natural cycles.  If we men listen to our partners, we will gain so much wisdom.  Men experience as many mood swings as women, the difference is that a woman's mood swings are more predictable.  My wife and I used to use period tracker app on our iPods.  It's very useful and easy to navigate.  Men may notice over time that your mood is also linked to the moon cycle.  My wife also uses a moon diary.  We also have the deluxe moon pro app for keeping track of the moon cycle and is a great planting guide too.  We also attempt to connect what comes up personally/emotionally and then astrologically/collectively.  It's just another way for us to talk about and identify patterns of nature and attempt to identify in each other what the other may not be able to see.  The eyes can see out, but we need an intimate partner to help us see within, toward our own shadow.
The way I understand it is that if a couple have great communication and emotional connection through the month, come menstruation time, there is less tension..PMS and IMS (irritable male syndrome),  and less reason for the woman to retreat with feelings of not being understood, and the man to head for the shed.  There are many exits to intimacy.  When men nurture women, they're also nurturing the earth and their own bodies.  If they're listening to their penis and head too much, they miss the feelings in the heart...equally if women pay too little attention to their sexuality and belly region, they feel too much.  The above documentary suggests that movement and stimulation = more blood flow and less PMS.

The problems really hit hard when the irritable man and the irritable woman are not getting their needs met by each other.  So who changes first.  The man or the woman? or both together?  It doesn't really matter who changes first, but it's usually the woman due to the pain and emotional gridlock and their innate biological bias toward open communication.  Men are masters of keeping things in and will often rather die than acknowledge feeling depressed or having a physical problem.  Women are reminded of life and death every month and so should men be.   Some mainstream GP's like Elsimar Coutinho (the one in the documentary above) believe menstruation is not normal...he says "what's the use in an ovulation that does not result in a pregnancy?".   He does everything in his power to get rid of his clients' menstruation.  Sadly many women are lining up for the treatment..to function more easily in a society dominated by product over process, and to have an uncomplicated sex life...just like a man's. 

I've been referring clients in Victoria to Dr Sandra Parsons, a GP specialising in women's health and natural medicine.  She's at 41 Queens Pde Clifton Hill 9489 7955.  She and I did a course together in Kabbalah...

Men can understand PMT similar to having one or two sleepless nights.  It is worth knowing that women who dream well (REM sleep) and sleep longer within the luteal phase have less PMT.   Read more about the function of dreams here.  The more connected you are with your dreams and the unconscious, the more connected you'll be to your body and the messages the body is trying to tell you.  If you have nightmares and restless sleep in the luteal phase, ask yourself what do you really need.  Click here for some hints.  Click here for the latest menstrual cycle research.

The mystery unravelling...

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The Lovers tarot card is a pathway between Kabbalah's Tiferet and Binah.  Notice the female looking up to the heavens whilst the man looks to the woman.  She's more in touch with the natural cycles, and man must go through her, the earth, to get to the heavens.  If he tries to go straight to heaven without the feminine, emotional connectedness, communion and intimacy, then he'll be in hell, kissing shadows.  Men - o pause!  I strongly argue the case that if women have had men (a father, a partner, a mentor) who can pause, slow down, be present, listen, understand and validate a woman's experience, then they can explore higher worlds together.  Before then, we're all equally stuck in the physical and emotional pain, not just women.  So to simply get rid of monthly menstruation via oestrogen therapy as Elsimar would advocate, this is contributing to the destruction of the planet.  The gap (the lack of genuine intimacy) between the masculine and the feminine is expressed via the amount of pain experienced at menstruation, and without this pain, men could remain ignorant to their destructive product-driven agendas.  I'm by no means a man hater,   I'm just aware of my own and my gender's ignorance.  Equally it is a woman's role to become aware of her power, to challenge and advocate balance both internally ANIMUS and externally.

There are five potential stages for men:
1. Women as mother: He needs a mommy to take care of him.
2. Women as sex object: He wants her to make him feel good.
3. Women as wife: He wants her loyalty and support.
4. Women as guide to healing and awakening: He grows through her need for independence.
5. Women as equal partner: He values and meets her as an opposite and equal partner.

and women:
1. Men as alien outsiders: She fears, hates, and "desires" him.
2. Men as father, God, or king: She wants his approval.
3. Men as hero: She wants to look up to him and to have him take care of her.
4. Men as independent beings: She wants her independence from a partner.
5. Men as equal partners: She wants and meets him as an equal and opposite partner.
To unravel these stages further, click on the stages of sexual development link.  In partnership, try and work out which stage you are both at. 
Stages of sexual development
Charting your cycle
What's your language of love?
The Spinning Wheels

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Only when both men and women meet together at stage 5 will they close the gap between them, and begin a life together with less physical and emotional pain.  Only then will we produce offspring with less suffering and collective baggage.  It is no coincidence that the sun and the moon are exactly the same size when seen from the earth, and that both day and night share the 24 hour cycle equally.  Earth is the perfect breeding ground for equality.

If you are serious about changing the relationship to your body and getting more intune with natures cycle, why not make it a spiritual practice and begin charting your cycles.  Here's an example. I recommend you read Jane Hardwicke Collings' writing here to the right and check out her website.  It's a path of no return.  If you choose to click that button now, get ready to change your life.
Subscribe to moonsong newsletter
Menstruation as a spiritual practice

More great links

http://www.theredweb.org/
http://womboflight.com/
http://menstruationresearch.org/blog/
http://www.redtentmovie.com/
  • Home
  • Professional development
  • Training in Bali 'Therapy for Therapists' 11-17 September 2023
    • Therapy for Therapists registration page
  • Contact Nic Morrey
  • e-Mental health services
  • About Integral Psychology
  • The 4 Faces of Love Inventory
  • Tree of life relationships inventory
  • Couples therapy
    • Integral Relationships
    • John Gottman
    • His Needs Her Needs
  • Articles, Links, Audio & Powerpoints
    • Hypnosis
    • A Journey for Women
    • A Journey for Men - What's your Archetype?
    • Connect to your body...via 5Rhythms
    • Where is your energy blocked?
    • Understanding the Brain's left and right hemisphere
    • Psychiatric disorders
  • Past events
    • Moving Forward in your Relationship July 29th 2017
    • Carl Jung Conference 2014
    • From Boys to Young Men 2014 - Bali Retreat
    • Bali Retreat- The Sacred Art of Relating 2012 2013 2014
    • Hepburn Springs retreat - The Sacred Art of Relating couples retreat 24-26th April 2015
    • Bali retreat for Couples 2-7th September 2016
    • Training in Bali 'The Psychology of Relationships' 10-15th September 2017
    • Training in Bali 'The Psychology of Spirituality' 2-7th September 2017
    • Training in Bali 'Therapy for Therapists' 27 April-2 May and 5-12 September 2019
  • Register for Event/Retreat Updates here
  • Lothlorien audio